


la vie en rose

by stargays



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F, Holtzbert - Freeform, Kate McKinnon - Freeform, Kristen Wiig - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 17:27:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11018109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargays/pseuds/stargays
Summary: There's only one thing in the world that makes Erin Gilbert feel better, and that's Holtzmann's song.





	la vie en rose

There was one thing that never failed to cheer Erin Gilbert up when she was upset. If you'd asked her what that one thing was a few months ago, she probably would have said her work. Work did make her happy, but it was more of a distraction than a fix when she was sad. If not work, she would have said her friends helped, which they did tremendously. Patty had her jokes and her protective hugs, and Abby had her advice and her reassuring presence. Holtzmann, though, had anything she wanted: open arms to crawl into with soft, loving words to soothe her into a calm trance filled with kisses. And yes, her girlfriend was always the one she went to to make her feel better, but there was one thing that made her feel most happy: Holtzmann's song. 

It wasn't really her song; she didn't write it or anything. But, she'd sung it to Erin one day when she was feeling a bit down to try and calm her. Her initial reason behind wanting to sing it to the physicist was to prove that she knew how to speak other languages, something Erin had doubted at first. Holtzmann was intelligent, yes, but for some reason she couldn't picture the blonde speaking anything but English. Boy was she wrong.

 

***

 

Holtzmann knocked on the door to Erin's apartment, a bag from some salon shop hanging from her arm. A smile appeared on her face as the door opened, rocking up on her toes as she stood at the entrance. 

"I got the stuff," she said, looking down af the bag before looking up to meet the ginger's eyes. 

"Don't say it like that, Holtz." the older woman hissed through her teeth, opening the door wider to let the tiny woman in before shutting it behind her. "I don't know what kind of people live near me."

"You don't know your neighbors?" Holtzmann questioned, arching one of her brows before walking over to the table and setting the bag down. 

"Do I look like a social butterfly to you?"

The blonde walked up to the woman, sliding her arms around her waist to pull her closer. "Nooo," she dragged out, smiling up at her. "But you're as pretty as one."

Erin smiled down at her before kissing her gently, her arms loosely slung around her neck. Holtz reciprocated, her eyes falling shut until the taller woman parted completely. 

"Okay!" Holtz smiled, practically bouncing over to the table before pulling out a chair for the redhead to sit in. "Let me do your hair now."

Because of the portal she's gotten in while trying to save Abby, Erin's hair had been stripped of all its color. Since then, she'd been dying her hair frequently to try and get her color back. The closest she'd gotten was a light ginger color and though she'd gotten reassurance that it looked fine from the rest of the girls, and even Kevin (though a very vague compliment through the other gibberish he'd spewed), she still wasn't fond of it. It'd only been a month that she had it, but she was growing to hate looking at it in the mirror. So, instead of messing it all up herself, she gave Holtzmann the freedom to pick out whatever she wanted to as long as it was not black or any unnatural color. 

Erin sat down in the chair, leaning forward so the blonde could wrap an old towel around her shoulders.

"Don't look," she said softly, reaching over to pull the bag close to her before pulling out the box of dye. 

"Are you not telling me what color it is until it's done?" the physicist asked, a tinge of panic in her voice. 

"Nope."

Holtzmann opened the box, ignoring the defeated sighs leaving her girlfriend's lips as she went through the contents. She handed the directions page to Erin, being sure it didn't specify the color beforehand. 

"Can you tell me how to put all this together?" she asked, eyeing the bottles in the box. 

"Uh," she stalled, eyes scanning the unfamiliar words on the page. "Not really. I don't speak French."

"No?" the blonde asked, as if it was unnatural to not be able to. 

"No. Can you?" 

"Yep." Holtzmann replied, lowering the box as the older woman's head turned to look at her. "What? I had free time one summer."

"Enough time to learn a whole language?"

"More than enough. Now, tell me which one of these is poured in first."

"Sure," she said sarcastically with a shake of her head, turning to look back down at the instructions. "Unless this is anything like Spanish I can't help you." 

"It's similar," Holtzmann shrugged, peeking her head over the other's shoulder. "Also, you can't even speak Spanish. Why does that matter?"

"I can too." Erin tried to defend herself, though her tone told the opposite of what her words did. 

"Baby, I can't lie to you. Your Spanish is really bad." the blonde chuckled, shaking her head. "Also, the instructions are in your native language. Flip the sheet over."

"I'm hurt." she said, turning the paper over to read the instructions. "It says to put bottle 1 into bottle 2 and shake it before adding the oil into it."

"Cool." the blonde nodded, putting on a pair of gloves before putting all of the products together. 

Needless to say, the color wasn't what Erin had before the portal ordeal, but it was pretty close. More brown, definitely, but she liked it better than what she'd given herself. And, Holtzmann didn't miss any spots on her head like she was fearing. 

 

*** 

 

Singing was always a hidden talent Holtzmann had. She wasn't mindblowingly incredible at it or anything, but it was still surprising. Until one day when they were waiting on lunch from the others, Erin was under the assumption that the blonde was a bad singer. There was just always something about her that screamed 'bad, but funny, singing up ahead!'. Every song on Holtz's lab playlist was upbeat, mostly good for mouthing the words while dancing around and using whatever tool that was in her hand as a microphone. That was until 'Iris' by the Goo Goo Dolls came on shuffle. It was definitely a mood changer, so much so that Erin had looked up from her work to make sure Holtzmann wasn't in her feelings or anything. Even if she hadn't looked up then, it wouldn't taken her long before she did. For the first time in the length they'd known each other, she heard the engineer sing. It was good, beautiful even. It sounded similar to her talking voice, but more soft and flowy. She fell in love with it then and there, and made an effort to play more soft songs around the woman to hear it more.  
It wasn't until one day that she got to hear it fully, not backed up by the lead singer of whatever band they were listening to. 

 

***

 

She was sitting at her desk, the end of a pen between her teeth as she read the equation over again, when she got the phone call. 

Without looking at the caller ID, she lifted her phone to her ear. "Hello, this is Erin Gilbert."

"Erin," 

The woman's face dropped slightly, setting her pen on the table and sighing quietly. "Dad."

"How are you?" he asked timidly, as if the small talk was forced, which it probably was. 

"I'm doing just fine." Erin responded, running a hand through her hair. "Need anything?"

"That's... good. And I'm fine as well, thanks for asking." he began, his tone flat and emotionless. "I wanted to have a little chat."

"About?"

"You, your work."

"I'll pass," she decided quickly, knowing she wouldn't want to have this particular conversation with him. 

"Well, you have no choice. We need to talk about this, Erin." her dad spoke, knowing she wouldn't dare go against him again. Silence met him on the other line, a signal for him to begin. "Why did you stop your work at Columbia? You were about to get your tenure. That's a big deal."

"I didn't stop, I was fired." she said flatly, a sigh passing through her lips after her words. 

"Because of this stupid ghost thing, right?"

"Look, I really don't want to talk about this." Erin said again, clenching one of her fists under the desk. 

"Erin, you've got to stop hunting these 'ghosts', okay? Stop hanging out with those weirdos and go back to doing real Science." he asked, a slight begging tone to his voice.

"This is real Science, dad! There's scientific backing for a lot of what we do now." she said defensively, letting out a huffed breath before finishing. "And they're not weirdos, they're my friends."

"You were an amazing professor, and you had so much going for you. You threw it all away to go run after some imaginary creatures."

"After the attack on New York City, you still think it's fake?" she asked, shaking her head. "I wasn't even a good professor. I got complaints all the time about being too nervous or jittery. I'm not meant to do that, but this is what I like doing."

"Erin, you're wasting your life. Your mother and I have talked and we think that--"

"I don't care what you guys think. I'm not quitting this job, and I'm not leaving my friends to do what you want me to do." she interrupted, letting out a shaky breath. Even through the phone, her dad still made her nervous. She could almost hear his headshake in the silence, wiping her sweaty palm on her skirt. 

"We really expected better from you. Your mother and I are really disappointed in you for wasting your life on this with those people." he began to wrap up, his voice losing all emotion once more. "I mean, first you joined them to fight ghosts or whatever they are, and now you're dating one of them too? What about that nice man you were with from Columbia? You threw him away for one of them too? You're better than this."

"Them? What do you mean by that?"

"You know what I mean. Those dykes will do anything to get what they want."

"She didn't force me to do anything. I love her, dad... She didn't make me do that." she said defensively, tears stinging at her eyes. 

"Whatever. I just know that you can do much better than whatever life you're living right now, if you'd even call it that." he said. 

"Dad, I--"

"No, Erin. I'm done talking to you about this." he interjected harshly. "If you change your mind, call us. If not," he paused for a moment, trying to find the right words, "just don't."

She opened her mouth to speak but chose to hang up instead, setting the phone down. She rested her head on the desk and let the tears that had threatened to fall escape from her eyes, staying that way for a few moments before leaving her office. 

Erin walked upstairs to the third floor, halfway ignoring Abby and Patty's worried looks and questions. She waved them off silently, trying not to be rude, but also trying to let them know she didn't want to talk about it. Once she reached the lab, however, she cleared her throat to speak. 

"Jill?" she called out, her voice cracking on the small word. 

From behind a messy desk came a mop of blonde curls, followed by the rest of her disheveled body. She lifted her goggles, her previously concentrated expression softening to worry before rushing over to the woman who met her halfway. 

"Er, what's wrong?" she asked softly, trying to meet her eyes, but failing as the taller woman wrapped her arms around her body tightly. "Hey, baby," she continued, holding her close. "Come 'ere..."

Holtzmann pulled her over to the black couch they'd gotten for her late nights, sitting down on one end and letting the physicist crawl into her arms. 

"Tell me what happened?" she asked gently, wiping a few tears that managed to roll onto Erin's cheeks. 

"D-dad called," she said simply, the blonde's face falling at the two words. 

"What'd he say?"

"He wanted to talk about work." she said, taking a deep breath before continuing. "He said I was wasting my life and that him and mom w-were disappointed in me." 

"Oh, baby..." the engineer said, holding her girlfriend closer to her. "You're not wasting your life unless you're unhappy with what you're doing in it. If you're happy, you're fulfilling your life." she leaned down to kiss her forehead, brushing some of the hair from her face. "And he's stupid to not be proud of you. You've done so much and have helped so many people."

Erin stayed quiet for a moment, nodding slowly to Holtz's words before spewing out something that seemed to hurt the worst. "He said he's disappointed that I'm dating you.."

The blonde stayed quiet, a ping hitting her in the chest at the woman's words. She released a soft breath, biting her lower lip. Then, as Erin began to cry, she softened again and let her own worries go. 

"H-he called you a-a..." she tried to say, her cries interrupting her and stopping the word from coming out. 

"Baby, you don't have to--"

"He called you a dyke, Jillian." she stated quietly, looking back up at her. "He can... he can say whatever he wants about me and how I'm wasting my life, but he can't say anything like that about you."

"Er, it's okay..."

"No it's not! He can't just tell me that you're one of 'those people' who force girls into relationships and make you seem like a bad person like that." her voice was raised at this point, her anger showing through. 

Holtzmann just looked at her for a moment before kissing her forehead again and holding her close. "I don't care what he says, Erin. As long as you're happy, I'm staying. Nothing he can say will make me leave."

"But he said all those bad things and I," she paused again to let out a breath, trying to steady her shaking voice, "I hate him..." she said softly before beginning to cry again, burying her head into the blonde's chest. 

"Hey," she said softly, "I think I know something that might make you feel better."

"What?" Erin asked curiously, raising her head to look at her girlfriend through teary eyes. 

And then Erin heard it: a voice as soft as a feather brushing past her ears, but more beautiful than anything she'd ever heard before. Holtzmann was singing. 

"Quand il me prend dans ses bras  
Il me parle tout bas,  
Je vois la vie en rose.  
Il me dit des mots d'amour,  
Des mots de tous les jours,  
Et ça me fait quelque chose.  
Il est entré dans mon cœur  
Une part de bonheur  
Dont je connais la cause.  
C'est lui pour moi, moi pour lui dans la vie  
Il me l'a dit, l'a juré pour la vie.  
Et dés que je l'aperçois  
Alors je sens en moi  
Mon cœur qui bat."

Erin's tears had slowed to a stop, her eyes moving to look up at her girlfriend with complete adoration. She felt an overwhelming sense to kiss her, but her curiousity took over once she realized it was entirely in French. 

"Baby, that was beautiful... but what does it mean?" she asked softly, watching as a soft smile grew on Holtz's face. 

"I thought you'd never ask." she chuckled, leaning down to kiss the physicist's head before singing again. 

"Hold me close and hold me fast  
The magic spell you cast  
This is la vie en rose.  
When you kiss me, heaven sighs  
And though I close my eyes  
I see la vie en rose.  
When you press me to your heart  
I'm in a world apart  
A world where roses bloom.  
And when you speak, angels sing from above  
Everyday words seem  
To turn into love songs.  
Give your heart and soul to me  
And life will always be  
La vie en rose."

 

***

 

Ever since then, every time Erin was upset, she'd ask Holtzmann to sing to her. Not once did the engineer ever complain, partially because she loved the song, but mainly because she hated seeing her girlfriend upset. Seeing the physicist's expression soften and a small smile grow on her lips made singing the song worth it every single time. Sometimes she'd sing it in French, other times in English, but she mainly sang both parts. 

The words resonated in Erin's mind, and it all made her fall more in love with Jillian every time she sang it to her. She was always a bit nervous before asking her to sing, afraid one day she'd refuse or say she was tired of doing it. However, Holtzmann got good at telling when she needed it, and would often ask to sing to her instead of the other way around. It always comforted Erin to know she cared so much. 

Erin liked the song so much, in fact, that she decided to find it online. If, for some reason, Holtz couldn't sing it to her, she'd listen to it on her phone over and over again until she calmed down.

 

***

 

"No, no, no..." Holtzmann panicked, rushing to grab the fire extinguisher to put out the small fire she'd started on her desk. She set it down before carefully rummaging through the burnt items, catching sight of a shred of paper with familiar, curling handwriting and numbers underneath. 

"Oh, no..." she whispered to herself, trying to find the rest of it, but finding black ash underneath. "Shit, shit, shit." she swore under her breath, plopping onto the chair behind her. 

Erin had been working on an equation and theory for a while now, and had finally almost finished it. She'd come to show Holtz and, in a rush, left it on her desk; the same one that held a fire only seconds before. That sheet of paper was now gone, and so was the theory unless Erin had an incredible, photogenic memory. 

She heard footsteps a few minutes later and she prayed to herself that Abby or Patty needed to come talk to her, but when was she ever lucky?

"Why does it smell like burnt... stuff up here?" Erin asked, scrunching her face. 

Holtzmann looked up at her with a sad expression, taking a deep breath before focusing back on her lap. 

"Everything okay, J?" the physicist asked, approaching the smaller woman with a soft expression. Jillian shook her head, twiddling her thumbs nervously. 

Just as the blonde had done so many times for her, Erin took the engineer's hand and pulled her to the couch and into her arms. She let her stay quiet for a moment before asking again. 

"What's wrong, love?"

Jillian hesitated before answering, gnawing on her lower lip. "You know that theory you've been working on for a few weeks?"

"Yeah... What about it? Is there a mistake?" she asked, arching one of her brows. 

"I uh," she started, looking down at her hands, "I may have accidently setitonfirejustnow." she said quickly. 

Erin looked down at her with sad eyes, stroking her hair as she continued to speak. 

"I'm so... sorry, Erin. I didn't mean to start the fire I was just careless as usual."

"Holtz,"

"I'm always so careless and dumb, I'm sorry. You have every right to hate me-"

"Holzmann,"

"I always do stuff like this and I understand if you don't want to be around me anymore or anything."

"Jillian!" Erin said, raising her voice so the other would listen. "Please be more careful." is all she said. 

The engineer nodded, a few tears spilling from her eyes. "I'm so stupid," she whispered under her breath, balling her fists. 

Then, to break the silence, Erin began to sing.

"Quand il me prend dans ses bras  
Il me parle tout bas,  
Je vois la vie en rose..."

The physicist's voice seemed to soothe every worry in her mind, calming her down from everything that was upsetting her. That's when she understood why Erin always asked her to sing.

And Holtzmann had finally found her cure.


End file.
